Tuesday, August 30, 2011

In Search of A Spark

I'm sad to say it, but for the first time in eight years of teaching I am not (yet) excited for the start of the school year.  I don't mean it in the whiny "but I'm not ready for the summer to eeeeeend" kind of way that everyone who's NOT a teacher hates to hear.  In fact, to the contrary, I'm actually really ready to get back to a normal schedule and being busy.

It might have to do with some deadlines I have looming overhead and some frustrations I'm experiencing at work.  I've always been one of those people who throws myself into what I want to do, rather than what might be the responsible thing to do.  It drove my own teachers nuts, and my high school English teacher actually threatened to rescind one of my college recommendation letters because I had shirked some of my class responsibilities.  Oops.  

I wonder if it's because this was the first time in the last four years that I wasn't out at my summer master's program.  We always had such awesome clinicians and lecturers, it was difficult to NOT rekindle my passion for teaching.  Or I wonder if it's simply because, for the moment, the thing that is most interesting and challenging to me is yoga (and teacher training.)

I hope I can figure out whatever it is that has me in this funk, because a teacher who has lost her passion for teaching has no business being in a classroom.  I need my candle re-lit, and soon.

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